Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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