i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
