I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Come on in and take your pants off
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