Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
