Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
