o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
