found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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