My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Your penis caused this!
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