I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
