last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
