her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
