So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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