Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Randomize
