i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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