how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
we made out on top of his cat.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
