it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
