I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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