Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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