He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I currently don't understand fingers.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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