The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
