I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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