What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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