he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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