I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If I die, sorry about rent.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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