Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
