why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
