Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
They took my balls.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
