I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Who died my cat blue again?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
