How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
