How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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