somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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