That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
