Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
