i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
