i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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