sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We need to get me chipped asap
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
