I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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