google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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