i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
