She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
