Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
