I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
