nut hugger
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
