just come out here and I will go home with you...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
