I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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