didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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