I bet he comes in French.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
