I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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