I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
