You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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