I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
