Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
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