Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
